Little Awesome has been hard at work this past week. He has taken it upon himself to solve the world's gas shortage. Unfortunately, he gets a little greedy and doesn't want to let go of what he has created...
This is a sign of things to come, I am sure of it.
We, as loving parents, try and encourage L.A. to let go - to "Use the Force" as it were. Use his powers for good. My son decides that screaming is a better option.
I say all of this in jest as I know and Mrs. Awesome knows that he can't help it. He didn't get a manual to read - just like we didn't get our manual. So he is stuck grunting and pushing to no avail while the bubble in his rumbly tumbly gets more and more gurgly by the second.
The hardest part for me is two-fold...
Number one being the sleep that eludes all of us. Lunesta and Nitol are not a part of our household, so we are forced to get creative and spin yarns about L.A.'s condition. Last night, we rambled about how the neighborhood could fire the mythical Rooster that wakes everyone us in the wee morning hours, or how Little Awesome could become the mascot for the new hockey team "The Massachusetts Waaaahs" complete with description of the logo on the jersey of a wailing child driving a Zamboni.
Number two being the fact that up to this point I have not seen tears stream from my child's face. Now, being an uncle I am aware that tears are soon to be a common occurrence. However, this is the first time that I have to see them for what they are... my son is in pain. He is expanding like Violet Beauregard in Charlie in the Chocolate Factory and I without my "Squeezing Room" to relieve the pressure. It's heartbreaking.
The upside to all of this, is that I'm beginning to garner more insight into my parents' lives. I say this with the promise that I will say this repeatedly I am sure, much to my parents' glee. They have said numerous times that "Payback is coming", and I noticed when Little Awesome first joined this world he was relatively quiet. Quiet enough that I heard the whispered curses from my parents when my son was so well "behaved". Surely, payback IS coming, isn't it?
So a few bribes to corporate warlords, and pre-dawn ritual dances later - my parents have their revenge. I am certain that by their efforts that the formula that we have purchased have become tainted with mystical Fizzy Lifting Bubbles and poor L.A. for whatever reason hates being patted on the back so burps are, for the most part, few and far between.
All joking aside for my folks, it warms my heart to see them, and Mrs. Awesome's family dote on my child. My bride deserves whatever break she can get. When I get home I will hold my son in hopes that Mrs. Awesome will take the time to breathe and recharge her Awesome batteries. I will lose sleep, I will listen to all the screams my son can dish out, I will dry the tears, I will be the rock and the shoulder and the ear. My wife and child are worth it. Be Awesome everyone, thanks for listening and please come back to see us.